Reach out and touch Infinity.

Sometimes I just like to reach out and touch Infinity.

I like the tingling feeling I get. Like knowing that you know something but you’re just not yet quite clear on exactly what it is that you know.

You just know that you know something, and that makes you feel fuzzy and makes you secretly smile.

It doesn’t really matter even what it is that you know. You just know that you know something so mind-bogglingly profound it would take you a hundred years of explaining to bring someone else up to speed with what you know, but you just know all of what you know.

Having lived countless lifetimes, one can acquire a great deal of knowledge. But what one tends to acquire most usefully of all, is how one gets to feel about what one knows.

Perhaps the feeling about what you know is more important than what it is that you know.

Like the effect on you of an abstract painting. There are no words to describe what you ‘get’, and the details are all there but inexplicable to anyone but you and your interpretation.

I like the feeling of the feeling, because I can know that concept, regardless of which language I currently speak, and that is perhaps too why I am profoundly a composer of music.

The ideas, emotions, feelings and sensations that music without words can create within are limitless and evolving. Just like we are.

I can hear a piece of music at some time and dislike it. Then I can hear it again, ten years later and love it. Why?

Because we change. We evolve eternally and so does what we know, and what “we think about everything”, and what our ‘resolutions’ about what it is that we think that we know that determine our way of handling those things that we face from day to day.

One of the most exciting things that I love to experience, is that ONE new thing that enters your sphere and changes everything that you think about everything. It’s perhaps not that common, or perhaps not allowed to be that common, because many people like to have a stability in what they think, because changing their mind would mean (erroneously) that they were ‘wrong’.

No, you can’t be wrong thinking in a certain way if you didn’t know, so being able to allow a new datum in, that puts everything into ‘question’ is awesome.

It shows that the universe in entirely flexible, adaptable, morphing and shape-shifting to be that which we consider it should be. And that, long enough for us to say “See? I told you that’s how it is!”

Except that’s just how it was, and not necessarily how it will be.

People have the idea that they like things to remain the same. And evidently a certain amount of that IS necessary for existence to be somewhat predictable. But the potential for new and unexpected is exciting and life-giving to a world that gets painted over so many times it all becomes a mushy grey…

I recall looking at the girl who was to become my wife. I saw unlimited possibilities, limitless potential futures, any of which could be transformed into reality with a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’.

As it was she said ‘yes’ and here we are, thirty-five years later, still exploring what can become….


Jez Feldmesser

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